The Glass We Forgot We Were Wearing
Imagine that as a child, you were given a pair of glasses—not ordinary ones, but lenses that cast the entire world in a deep shade of purple. Everything you looked at—trees, faces, buildings, the sky—took on the tones of violet and lavender, as if reality itself had been dipped in purple paint. The shadows wore lilac, daylight filtered through a soft plum glow, and even the sun shimmered with a quiet amethyst light. The world felt like one endless grape snow cone in July because you’d never known anything else.
You never removed them. Not once. And over time, you stopped noticing they were there. You simply assumed that everyone saw what you saw. Purple sunsets were just how the sky said goodnight. Indigo oceans were just the way water looked. You had no memory of a world before the lenses, no experience of contrast, no reason to believe that anything could be different than the way it had always been.
The truth? We’re all wearing such glasses. Not literal purple ones, of course, but perceptual filters just as powerful, just as invisible to us, just as thoroughly convincing in their distortion of reality. The human experience is shaped not by what we see—but by how we’ve been conditioned to see.
Some walk through life with lenses etched by early fear, where every stranger reads as threat and every silence rings with rejection. Others wear glasses polished by perfectionism, where no win feels like enough and no rest feels earned. Some are outfitted with frames that only zoom in on risk. Others with lenses that dim joy just enough to keep hope at arm’s length.
These lenses were formed in moments we remember vividly—and in others we barely registered. And over time, they stopped feeling like lenses. They started feeling like truth.
But what if they’re not?
What if that quiet dissatisfaction that hums beneath your accomplishments isn’t a flaw in character—but a flaw in the prescription?
What if that ache for connection, or that constant scanning for failure, isn’t who you are—but how you’ve been trained to see?
This isn’t just metaphor. It’s neurobiology. It’s the architecture of consciousness. The lens becomes the interface between your nervous system and the world. It decides what you register, what you dismiss, what you believe is possible for someone like you.
And here’s the most interesting part of all:
You didn’t choose the first pair you were given.
But you can choose the next.
What might happen if you became the optometrist of your own perception?
What might shift if you examined the prescription you’ve worn for decades—and found the courage to adjust it?
What might you see if you allowed yourself to try on something new—clearer, softer, wilder, truer?
This exploration is your invitation to do exactly that:
To notice the colors you’ve always accepted as real.
To question the edges you thought were limits.
To trace the fingerprints of your old lenses back to the hands that shaped them—and then, with reverence and clarity, to begin grinding new ones.
Because just beyond your current field of vision, there are entire landscapes of possibility and beauty.
They’ve always been there.
You just need the right lens to see them.
Because there is a cost to carrying an unexamined lens—one that doesn’t appear on paper or in the bank account, but in quieter, heavier ways. It shows up in joy that feels muted. In doors never knocked on. In relationships that stay surface-level, not because we don’t crave more, but because we’ve quietly concluded we’re not the type to be met deeply.
It’s the brilliant thinker who never speaks up, convinced their voice will only create disapproval. The creative spirit who tucks their ideas away, not because they’re not good, but because somewhere along the way they were told dreams aren’t practical. The deeply loving person who stays half-closed, because a long-ago rupture taught them that opening fully means getting hurt.
These are not just personality traits or quirks. They’re consequences. They’re the residue of lenses we forgot we were wearing.
And left unchecked, these lenses shape the contours of our lives. They determine who we think we can be in a room. What we believe we deserve in a relationship. How much success we’ll allow before self-sabotage steps in. They dictate not only what we see—but what we let ourselves have.
And perhaps most heartbreaking of all: the lens becomes self-fulfilling. The person who expects rejection becomes guarded, brittle, hard to reach—and is rejected. The one who believes they must over-deliver to be valued becomes exhausted, resentful, and misunderstood. The person who braces for abandonment creates the very distance that drives people away.
Not because they’re broken, but because the lens convinces them they must be. Change doesn’t begin by fixing the lens—it begins by noticing it. There is quiet power in the moment we realize we’re not seeing clearly, we’re seeing through. And that gap—the subtle space between reality and the meaning we assign to it—changes everything. Because once we become aware of the lens, we can finally begin to question it—not with aggression or shame, but with a kind of gentle curiosity that opens the door to something new.
Where did this come from?
What moment installed this meaning?
What else could be true that I haven’t been able to see?
When we interrupt the automatic stories, when we notice the leap from event to assumption, we create space. And space is power. Because in that space, we can choose again. We can see the room, the relationship, the opportunity with fresh eyes—not the ones trained by a past that no longer holds the reins.
This is the work: not to blame the lens, but to name it. And then slowly, lovingly, begin to ask if it still serves.
Lenses can be updated. Refined. Softened. Replaced.
At some point, you realize that while you didn’t choose the lens you started with, you do have a say in the one you move forward with.
That’s the sacred turning point. The place where healing becomes artistry. You get to shape your perception. You get to decide which meanings you carry, which stories you update, which truths you keep and which you outgrow.
This doesn’t mean denying pain or pretending everything is beautiful. It means holding complexity. Knowing you can honor the past and welcome a different future. That you can be shaped by what you’ve lived through without being trapped by it.
You get to choose a lens that holds more generosity. One that assumes connection before conflict. One that looks for possibility rather than bracing for failure. One that leaves the door open to joy, even when fear wants to bolt it shut.
This is what freedom feels like—not the absence of wounds, but the ability to see beyond them.
Eventually, the goal isn’t just to have a better lens. It’s to have many.
To shift fluidly. To zoom in when you need precision. To zoom out when you need perspective. To recognize that no single viewpoint holds the whole truth—and that maturity often means seeing from multiple angles at once.
This is perceptual freedom: knowing which lens to use, when to use it, and when to set it down.
It’s what lets you hold both grief and gratitude. To love someone who hurt you. To want more while still appreciating what you have. To see a mistake not as failure, but as feedback. To stand in your worth even while you’re still learning.
Multiplicity isn’t confusion. It’s clarity with depth. It’s the sign of someone who no longer needs certainty to feel secure. Someone who can live inside the questions without rushing to fill them with answers.
The most powerful transformation doesn’t start outside—it begins in the way we see.
When we change how we see, we change how we show up. We become less reactive. More creative. More open to possibility. And in doing so, we reshape not just our lives, but the lives we touch.
Perspective is not just a tool—it’s a choice. And sometimes, it’s the only one that truly matters.
You don’t need to wait for permission. You don’t need a breakthrough or a perfect moment. You can begin here: by noticing the lens, questioning the story, and choosing—deliberately, bravely—to see the world in a new way.
Because the lens is never the end of the story.
It’s just the beginning of how you tell it.
The journey of transforming your lens isn’t just philosophical—it’s practical. Here are a few things that have helped me along the way:
- Morning reflection: Before starting your day, ask yourself: “What lens am I carrying today? Is it serving me?” This simple awareness creates choice.
- Pattern interruption: When you notice yourself reacting from an old story, pause. Take three deep breaths. Ask: “Is this true? Or is this my lens at work?”
- Perspective journaling: Each evening, write about one situation from your day. Then rewrite it from three different perspectives. What changes? What new possibilities emerge?
- Embodied rewiring: When your body braces in familiar discomfort, consciously soften. Place a hand where you feel tension. Remind yourself: “This is old data. I’m safe now.”
- Micro-experiments: Choose one small action each week that contradicts your limiting lens. Note what happens when you act as if the story isn’t true.
- Lens collectors: Seek out people with fundamentally different perspectives. Not to adopt their views, but to recognize the multiplicity of ways reality can be experienced.
- Compassionate archaeology: Explore the origins of your most rigid lenses with curiosity rather than judgment. Honor how they once protected you, even as you outgrow their usefulness.
Remember that this work isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence. About catching yourself in the act of seeing through an old filter and gently choosing again. And again. And again. With each choice, you’re not just changing a thought. You’re reshaping the very architecture of how you experience life. And in that reshaping lies freedom.
Perhaps the most profound gift we can give ourselves is the willingness to see differently. To hold our perceptions lightly, knowing they’re always partial, always evolving.
This isn’t work we do once and complete. It’s a lifelong practice. A daily returning to the question: What am I seeing? And what am I missing? What would become possible if I could see this differently?
The world doesn’t just happen to us. We happen to it—through the lens we choose to wear. And in that choice lies unimaginable power.
So look again. Look deeper. Look beyond the familiar frames you’ve relied on for so long. There’s a wider world waiting to be seen. And it’s been there all along.
